||[May. 1st, 2005|03:27 pm]
My father passed away peacefully but unexpectedly in the early afternoon yesterday, whilst we were all desperately trying to reach the hospital. I never got to say goodbye.
He was a man I always had the greatest respect for, a nuclear physisist for the U.S. government, a lecturer in applied maths and theoretical physics, a man of thought and wisdom, and a keen gardener with a great love of nature. Like his father before him he changed the world in quiet but significant ways. Most of all, he taught me how to learn for myself, perhaps the greatest gift one can give.
I've lost many friends and relatives, but I never realised how hard this would hit me. From circumstance I'd been out of touch with him for years and only started seeing him again at Christmas. I had hoped we could spend time together... I had a lot I wanted to talk to him about and I wanted him to get to know Fury better. Most of all I wish I'd had the chance to show him that although I didn't choose the academic route I am starting to do well in the creative arts - maybe even becomming a success.
Fury has been a star, looking after both me and my mother. My heart is not broken, but it will never be whole again. This is a loss that hurts deeply. He did not deserve to go so soon. I am lost.
My poor mother is taking it hard. Although they were divorced for years he always provided for her and they were still very close. I worry for her health as she has heart failure. The rest of the family is pulling together as never before.
I miss him. Deeply.